By: Sherrilene Classen, PhD.
The big question is: What to make out of unexpected adversities and potential opportunities? Incredible lessons can be learned from experiencing limitations (aka Way Closing) and being open to unfolding potentials (aka Way Opening).
Gayle Forman has said: “Life can be hard and beautiful and messy, but hopefully, it will be long. If it is, you will see that it's unpredictable, and that the dark periods come, but they abate -- sometimes with a lot of support -- and the tunnel widens, allowing the sun back in. If you're in the dark, it might feel like you will always be there. Fumbling. Alone. But you won't -- and you're not.” These wise words provide a nice context for exploring the lessons of the book. Particularly, the "Way Closing, Way Opening", explores the cycles of personal growth, transformation, and spiritual deepening that individuals experience throughout life. The concepts of "Way Closing" and "Way Opening" serve as metaphors for the different stages or moments in one's journey.

Way Closing: Way Closing describes moments of challenge, confusion, or even failure when the path ahead seems unclear or blocked. These moments can evoke feelings of loss, doubt, or frustration. While difficult, these closures are crucial for deeper self-understanding and growth—if we take the time to become present and reflect. They are times of necessary introspection and contemplation— that prepare us for the next opening.
Here is my personal “Way Closing” scenario: Five weeks after my knee surgery I was hiking with members from our walking group. I have worked in a dedicated and staged fashion to be able to improve my conditioning into levels of managing greater complexities (i.e., increases in distance, surfaces, intensity and frequency) for these walks. I felt that I was very compliant with what I needed to do—and that I was patient to match my body’s ability, given my recovery, to staged physical challenges. At the morning of the walk, I verbalized that I was about “90% back”, as compared to my prior level of physical conditioning. The walk was a bit more treacherous than expected as there were mountain bikers who did a 50-mile race on the trail, and we were challenged by having to “share” the walking paths with them. Also, the trail had some rough spots, and roots that were inconspicuously buried under the dropping of the winter leaves—which I have warned our group members about before hand. With a little less than a mile to go —my right foot got stuck in one of the roots and I propelled forward without any control, hitting the ground with full impact on my healing knee. The unfolding experience was characterized by feeling a tearing sensation in my knee joint, blinding pain, and releasing a series of “F” bombs as I laid on the ground. Emotions of shock, disbelief and incredible concern all arose instantaneously. I have summited and descended Kilimanjaro without a single trip or slip; traversed the snowy and glacial slopes and vertical climbs of Mount Blanc with very secure footing; and walk 100’s of miles on the Appalachian Trail (AT), 80 of those done solo, without any adversities. So why this fall and why now? Especially now that I am mostly back participating in all of my fitness activities; now that I am in the final planning processes of doing another 90 miles on the AT; and now that we are training for our upcoming trip to Everest Base Camp. Why now? Here is an underscore of a lessons that I have already learned: “why” is the most useless question to ask during times of adversity. The real question is: What? What are the next steps that I can take to better serve myself, the situation, and the activities that I are involved in.
Of course, between the WHY and the WHAT is a creative process called the HOW. This is the one that we have the least control over—and where the universe is orchestrating divine confluent interventions. So here is how it happened for me (note for me, not to me!). First, I realized that I am continuing to hold myself to high expectations (remember, I do not fall!!), even though I was still healing and not fully recovered. Second, I experienced incredible care and concern from my group members. Third, my partner is just always there—to love and to support, even though I was not kind to her as I was getting back on my legs. Fourth, that my friends stepped into supportive roles with some taking the lead on the walk, others steadying me, another providing guiding assistance during my walk back to the car, some supporting my partner, and others affirming my decision to not go to the ER, but instead to contact my orthopedic surgeon.
In this process of the HOW, this following spiritual truth stands out for me: "If we are to live our lives fully and well, we must learn to embrace the opposites, to live in a creative tension between our limits and our potentials. There is as much guidance in what does not and cannot happen in my life as there is in what can and does—and even maybe more. There is as much guidance in the way that closes behind us as there is in the way that opens ahead of us. Here is the most potent realization: Each time a door closes, the rest of the world opens up.
Way Opening: Way Opening refers to times when new opportunities, insights, and paths unfold, often leading to periods of excitement (I am not there yet!), growth, and self-discovery. Palmer describes these as moments when life feels full of possibilities, and we are more connected to our sense of purpose and authenticity. Way Opening may reveal our potential and what becomes possible for us. And as such, we must take the yes of the way that opens and respond with the yes of our lives. We must trust and find the gifts in ways that fulfill the potentials that God is giving to us.
Back to my scenario in the context of Way Opening: My orthopedic surgeon immediately responded to my anxious text—and agreed to see me that afternoon, in his office (miracle #1!). Moreover, he was out of town, and drove back earlier to be able to accommodate me, even though he had a pre-arranged family engagement (miracle # 2!). His actual diagnosis (to be confirmed with x-rays and/or fMRI) brought hope that I may be able to fully recover within the next month—at best; or through a small arthroscopic surgery, at worst (miracle #3!). I have been given strict instructions of how to be most compliant to facilitate optimal healing—and I have started to implement those suggestion and will continue to follow the guiding principles. This also means that I have a lot of additional time (that usually goes into teaching, coaching, exercising, and other productive activities) on hand. This is having the time for deeper exploration to search for, and potentially find the revealing gifts or treasures buried down deeply in the muck of the situation (miracle #4!). I came to realize that this process, is not just about my own human condition, but also about the care from my partner, the concern from my community, and a spiritual reminder of meaning making (miracle #5!). This realization is offering me an opportunity to contemplate the wisdom of how to navigate the ebb and flow of life’s Closing Way and Opening Ways (miracle #6!). Ultimately, I (and you) must embrace the Closing and Opening Way as essential aspects of personal, relational, and spiritual development (miracle # 7!).
My final thought is that this prolonged healing and not participating in my most favorite activities, is a tough price to pay; but it is small in terms of life lessons that others have encountered for their personal, relational, and spiritual development. Recently, I was present when a friend learned that her husband had just passed away. That is not just a Way Closing door—it is a slamming and shutting down door which asserts that one will never walk through it again! I cannot help to feel the compassion in my heart for such suffering—and I just hope that through my own smaller, but still profound, lessons of Way Closing that I can become a facilitator of Way Opening.
So, Way Closing, and Way Opening are two sides of the same coin. Way Closing reveals our limits where we must take the no of the way that closes and find the guidance it has to offer. This requires time, which comes with slowing down— and thoughtful contemplation during the process of discernment, to graciously accept that the door closed behind us. Way Opening refers to times when new opportunities, insights, and paths unfold, often leading to periods of growth, self-discovery and spiritual meaning making. We therefore need to stop pounding on the door that just closed, turn around—which puts the door behind us—and welcome the largeness of life that now lies open to our souls. It is through this process that we can evoke our Sage powers, our God powers, to explore, initiate, navigate, and manifest new possibilities and opportunities for growth and meaning making. May it be so in your life as well!
If you want to explore "Way Openings" for YOU--contact me: sherrileneclassen19@gmail.com https://www.yoursacredsummit.com/transformationalcoaching
Dear Sherrilene, Thank you for your careful reflection, analysis and sense making of the very unfortunate fall I witnessed yesterday during our group's weekly hike. Thank you for putting it into perspective and explaining why "WHY" question is senseless. Acceptance, facing the facts, patience with self and moving on, taking one step at the time is the way to go... with optimism. Thank you again! I needed it!